We Belong
by Mourir
Summary: HikaruKaoru :: Hikaru doesn't want to lose the Host Club. Because in the Host Club, he and Kaoru are different people. In the Host Club, he can love Kaoru. Set during episode 26.


**Disclaimer:** Ouran High School Host Club is the sole property of Bisco Hatori.

**Notes:** This fic makes absolutely little sense. It is set after Haruhi leaves to chase after Tamaki and Éclair in episode 26. Have fun trying to decipher what the hell I'm going on about.

xxx

When the carriage disappeared from sight and the pounding of horse hooves faded into the chirping of insects, Hikaru groaned and clutched his arm a fraction tighter. Immediately, Kaoru rushed to his side, Tamaki and Haruhi no longer on his mind.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a whisper as if speaking any louder would put his twin in more pain.

Hikaru's head hung low. His bangs draped over his face, giving him the impression that he was suffering an eternal ache that not even Kaoru could understand. Hand still gripping his injured arm, he muttered (had he not heard Kaoru?), "I'm afraid. I'm terrified that we'll lose everyone. Haruhi, Kyouya, Honey, Mori, and . . . and Tamaki."

Kaoru, arms raised with the intention of embracing his brother, took a step backward. The implication in Hikaru's trembling voice pierced him. He could only stare at his broken twin, for the first time at a complete loss of what to do next. Now, during this single slice in time, Kaoru was not part of the 'us' that had defined him and Hikaru for so many years.

"We'll be closed off from the world again." _I'll suffocate._ Hikaru's fist clenched his injured arm almost monstrously tight.

"I'm afraid." _I don't want to go back to how it used to be._ Hikaru bit his lip in an attempt to dam in the emotions and whip his composure into behaving.

"We'll be 'those twins' again." _I can't go back. _That was the most painful of them all. "You don't understand, Kaoru. You don't understand. This was our chance, our only escape. I could have-"

Finding bliss in ignorance, Kaoru inched closer and rested a comforting hand on Hikaru's shoulder. It felt terribly detached and not at all brotherly. "Let's go to the school, now. Kyouya's probably waiting."

With a little push, Hikaru moved forward almost perfunctorily. The two walked towards the main road just beyond the forest's boundaries, and Hikaru was vaguely aware of the beeping of Kaoru's cell phone.

"Hello? Yes, this is Kaoru. Please pick up both me and my brother on-"

Kaoru's soft yet commanding voice faded to the imaginary sounds of horse hooves beating on a dirt road towards freedom.

Towards normality.

_I could have shown you just how much I truly love you._

xxx

The asphalt rose like death and salvation to their sight. Coincidentally, the sleek black of the Hitachiin limousine could be seen creeping closer from the distance.

When the limo stopped in front of them – fortunately, there was no other traffic – Kaoru gently aided Hikaru inside before climbing in himself. The door clicked softly to silence.

The look on Hikaru's face as he gazed out the window made Kaoru feel wholly inadequate and intrusive. It had never before felt so awkward to start a conversation with Hikaru – though to be honest, he had never before started conversations; words flowed between them like single, unbroken thoughts.

"Do you . . . prefer not to be alone?" Kaoru asked in an uncharacteristically timid tone, uncertain and nearly panicked with nervousness.

"Of course," Hikaru replied.

Biting his bottom lip, afraid of continuing the makeshift conversation (because he didn't want to know, damn it), Kaoru risked asking, "You feel alone when you're with me?"

Immediately, Hikaru straightened (winced when he jostled his arm) and snapped his attention to his twin with inquiring and seemingly all-knowing eyes. "Don't you feel alone, too?"

Kaoru's hands gripped at his trousers, idly messing with the fancy trimming and fabric of his costumer. "I have you, so I never had any reason to feel alone. I thought maybe you felt the same way. At least, you did before we met_ Tamaki_." (how bitterness so tenderly choked and blinded adoration)

Slowly, Hikaru slid across the seat so that his and Kaoru's thighs pressed against each other warmly. He placed his good hand over Kaoru's, stilling the nervous fiddling. His voice reflected that of a 5-year-old, as if he were finally telling a secret he had kept deep within himself for eternities. "Kaoru, we've been alone since our birth. Quite lying to yourself."

Kaoru felt like crumbling (that's how Hikaru felt, after all, all along). He did not want to admit that he had been wrong and deceived – did not want to see his façade glaring like animosity within Hikaru's eyes.

"We've changed."

Kaoru shook his head in denial.

"We've changed, and we can't go back."

Before Kaoru could fling open the door of the now parked limousine (run away away away), Hikaru tilted Kaoru's face towards his own while minding his injured arm.

"You don't have to pretend to be strong all the time."

And as Hikaru's lips touched Kaoru's, the façade shattered, and the younger twin could not stop crying.

'Goodbye' couldn't register within their minds, refused to dance across their vocal chords and past their lips, became the impenetrable padlock that laughed at one twin's plea to return to the world of 'them.'

xxx

As their footsteps echoed mockingly – horse hooves beating on a dirt road - Hikaru wondered if he could ever separate fully from Kaoru so that he could finally love Kaoru's entirety, for it was Kaoru he loved and not a copy of himself.

xxx

Kyouya, with the best of his medical ability and knowledge, created a temporary sling for Hikaru's arm within the Hitachiin limousine as the remaining host club members began their search for Tamaki and Haruhi. Kaoru conversed with Honey and Mori, giggling in a reserved manner as Honey excitedly recalled the grand fight with the Ohtori private police force.

"Are you better?" Kyouya asked, indicating the twin's conscience and not his arm. He had a natural talent of sensing calm and discord, but the mixture of emotions within Hikaru's eyes was unreadable.

Hikaru glanced towards Kaoru. The soft glow of sunset on Kaoru's cheeks spoke his answer. "Yeah. We'll find Tamaki and Haruhi. And we'll be some fucked up version of a family again, and Kaoru and I will finally be able to . . ."

Before Kyouya could respond, Honey excitedly peered out the window, screaming 'Haru-chan! Tama-chan!' and demanding the driver to stop.

Hikaru promptly sprinted out the limo, Kaoru not far behind. They ran in perfect unison towards their saviors, their king and queen under whose rule Hikaru knew he could become 'Hikaru' and Kaoru could become 'Kaoru.'

Haruhi's smile, though faint, struck them like horse hooves beating on a dirt road. Perhaps it was the sparkle in her eyes that spoke of victory and happiness, but Hikaru distinctly felt the need to lace his fingers with Kaoru's.

While Mori and Honey took it upon themselves to steer the carriage back towards the school, the remaining host club members clambered into the limousine, requesting to be taken back to the school as well. Tamaki immediately graced Kyouya with his attention, speaking in great detail of his fascinating adventure and rescue and daughter and _Oh, Mother, you should have seen our daughter!_ Kyouya merely sighed, nodding when appropriate and raising an eyebrow when told of Tamaki's grand leap over the bridge.

"You shouldn't be so reckless, _Father,_" the Shadow King reprimanded (that couldn't have been out of _concern_ for an _Ohtori _is unable to feel such petty things as _that_). "How would that reflect upon your father? The Host Club? Really, now."

"Yeah, my Lord. _What were you thinking_?" Hikaru snapped. _Leaving like that – you had us all worried_, he wanted to say. He hid the 'would-have-said's and worry and any sign of _adoration _for the idiot King under a playful grin.

"You, too, Haruhi." Kaoru stuck out his tongue and gently tapped her forehead. "Don't just make rash decisions like that."

She rolled her eyes before gazing at the twins' laced hands lying comfortably on the seat across from where she, Tamaki, and Kyouya sat.

_I see_, she thought.

Her gaze wandered over to her left, where Tamaki sat explaining _something_ to Kyouya, hand gestures and all. But he, too, noticed the twins' unusual closeness – a connection that represented a closeness nobody really understood.

_Things are changing_, she thought.

_Things are changing_, he thought.

King and Queen.

This was their messed up little family.

xxx


End file.
